Second day of sick leave feels like…. Well it feels a little like the end of Empire Strikes Back, to be honest. You know you’re going to feel better, and probably soon, thanks to the drugs you’re on, but in the meantime, the second day sometimes feels worse than the first day. The day of reckoning (going back to work) is coming, and you know you still have to deal with Jabba the Hutt and the Sarlacc pit, not to mention blow up the second Death Star, before you can get to the cute dancing Ewoks at the end. Plus, there’s no way I’m squeezing myself back into a Princess Leia bikini when I feel much more like I’ve been shoved inside a disemboweled tauntaun.
Honestly I don’t even want to write tonight, but I promised myself and this has made me get slightly introspective. I’m one third of the way through the 30 days challenge and is it working? Well, since I’m post number 11 and today is December 11th the answer is obviously yes, it’s working. I’m posting daily.
On a more serious note of reflection, this sort of challenge has definitely cured me (at least temporarily) of that crippling sense of perfectionism that was keeping me from publishing anything before. A long lost writing lesson re-emerges from the cobwebs shrouding my high school and college days: I write better under pressure. I’m not saying it’s always healthy for me, and I don’t always produce fantastic results, but I find the words flow faster and ideas come quicker when I’m under the metaphorical gun. Most importantly though, I don’t have the luxury of walking away to think about it and get cold feet.
Like tonight. I reeeeealllly don’t want to write anything. Nothing fun happened. The highlight of my day was a really long bath. I’ve had to dig out a picture from last month’s trip to the Dublin Zoo Wild Lights exhibit which makes me think of a visual representation of a tunnel into the chaos of my mind. I don’t have any funny anecdotes or anything particularly deep and meaningful to discuss and I even contemplated “failing” the challenge for today before rallying.
It has, however, had one positive side effect of giving me an idea of trying a system in the new year where I have three passes a week to not write. Or try writing every other day. In other words, keep looking for a way to find a balance between writing regularly and not sacrificing all my time to it.
Ok, I had more meaningful thoughts on the nature of perfectionism and creative genius and how it can be self-defeating, but don’t have the wits to articulate them. Shall have to wait for another opportunity because I’m calling it quits now.
In Hawkeye’s newest expression: “See you later, elevator!”
“In a while crocod…. wait, it’s not elevator, it’s ALLIGATOR!”
“Hahahahaha see you later, elegator!”