Day #200 Ch-ch-ch-changes

I can’t get enough of watching my husband and my son from behind, walking hand in hand. If they’re walking, I marvel at the fact that these are both mine. My boys. If Hawkeye is running after daddy, then he is still running with that awkward, uneven (and so adorable) toddler gait with his arms flailing around, an extra bounce in his steps as his movements are still rather uncoordinated, despite the appearance of sure-footedness. It reminds me that my time to enjoy this priceless vision is limited. Every day he is growing and changing. Nana came up for the weekend to visit and couldn’t believe how tall he was, while I was shaking my head – not noticing the tiny incremental changes day by day.

Some changes, however, are hard to miss even from the myopic, close-eyed range of a parent. In this photo, he’s wearing his little teddy bear backpack. That’s the first time he’s agreed to wear it. For some reason he’s terribly reluctant to don a backpack, preferring to carry it in his hands most of the time.

Not visible like the backpack, but even more momentous, is the fact that he’s not wearing a nappy in this photo, but proper underpants. So far our results are very mixed on this front, but tomorrow he’s off to creche for the first time and they’re pretty amazing at teaching him things so I’m hoping he’ll really start to get into the spirit of things with more practice amongst his peers, several of whom are also going through this phase.

Today was also the first time we consciously decided to skip his afternoon nap. He can sleep a good long while if you let him, but he’s waking up from his naps very cross these days, and is taking a good while to fall asleep at bedtime. Instead we lay down on the couch and watched Brave, telling the bad bear to “go away” whenever he was on screen. He rested against me for much of the movie but perked up toward the end, clowning around the couch to the rhythm of the big bear fight scene at the end. Now, he was somewhat cantankerous by the end of the day, not wanting to eat his dinner and the like, but on the other hand it made for a super quick bed time.

We applaud each change, sharing it excitedly with friends and family. I long for the days when he can put on his own trousers, zip up his own jacket, go to the toilet by himself. But secretly, I also long to freeze these moments where I get to watch him in wonder, still disbelieving at times that this is mine. All mine.

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